Tuesday, March 10, 2015

Real Things I Hope For

I'm having a weird day. Nothing super bad, just blah.

Annabelle woke up early (read: mommy is still super tired...)

Feeding therapy went just okay (read: no weight gain and not any real progress--she's had HUGE leaps the last few months so I've been used to major progress every session...)

Migraine (read: pulsing, throbbing head)

Stressful phone call with government agency that I really really really wish I didn't even have to deal with in the first place (read: called hubby after I hung up and cried and sobbed all my frustrations to him, literally, while he was on his lunch break... probably didn't really help HIS day much...)

And then I realized today is blogging day, and I hadn't written anything.

My plan had been to have a "serious" version of things I hope for, as opposed to my mostly magical dreamland list last week.

While at the moment I'm feeling a bit down, I'm reminding myself that hope isn't always a feeling, it's a promise from God. It's something to be clung to. It's one of three things that when NOTHING else is there, still remains.

So maybe it was a good thing I hadn't written my post yet.

Maybe I NEEDED to write my hopes down, to be able to remind myself the value of clinging.

So here we go: Krista's serious list of hopes...

I hope my kids see a glimpse of Jesus through me every single day. I fail daily, I'm never perfect, but I really, really hope that despite my failures, God will get glory and my kids can follow the light of Jesus I let shine through me, even though there may be days that the light is a bit dim.

I hope God is glorified through every word I write. Yes, every single one. Every blog, every book, every Facebook post. I hope that God uses them, even in their imperfect state.

I hope God will turn our surviving into thriving. In so many ways, not just financial, but that too. I've been in survival mode for 5 years almost, and I'm ready to thrive again. I think we go through seasons in life, sometimes when we're grasping at the side of the cliff just to barely keep a hold, when we're eating ants and spiders just to survive (okay, not really... YUCK...) but we learn SO MUCH through those seasons. It strengthens us. But I also think we have seasons where God uses us, when we are thriving. I felt God's promise that if I will be patient and trust, THRIVING is in our near future. I'm hoping in that.

I hope my marriage will continue to grow stronger. I love my husband with all of my heart, and we've been through a lot of crud the last few years. A lot of marriages have crumbled under the stress that we've had, but because GOD was always our center, we've clung tight and we're still going strong. But even marriages get battered when the storm has crashed against them for so long. We're definitely strong and weathered, but I'm praying God shines some sun on our marriage as well so we can THRIVE in that too. Yeah, I'm liking the word thrive today!

I hope our family stays HEALTHY. I'll be honest. I've focused so much on Annabelle and HER health for so many years, mine has kinda gone by the wayside. I need to fix that. I'm tired all the time, I push my own pains under the rug, and yeah, I need to not do that. But I have a lot of hope that we are on the path to WELLNESS, and you know what? Annabelle has been SO healthy this past winter, and God has totally shown up and taken care of her, and we are OH so thankful!!!

I hope that I will be filled with God's love. Toward my family. Toward friends. Toward my church. Toward people who really irritate me and make me cry after I hang up the phone. Toward the least of these, AND the greatest of these.

There are other things I hope for, but honestly, most of them fall under brackets of the above things, so I won't bore you with listing them all.

But I'm so thankful for hope today. That even among the dreary days that sometimes come, even when there is no good reason for the clouds, that hope still remains.

What about you?

What do YOU hope for today?

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