Thursday, July 11, 2013

Krista's Tips to the Bachelorette

I've made it no secret that I have a wee bit of a guilty pleasure.

I'm not a "housewives" watcher.

Nor am I into the whole Zombie or Vampire epidemic.

I don't do the whole Jerry Springer thing or watch any of those shows where there is more BLEEPing and throwing things than there is talking.

I don't watch soap operas (although I did in my younger days... I'm convinced that I could watch just about two shows and be totally caught up!)

As a rule, I don't watch rated R movies... just not a lover of hearing the F word 10,000 times in two hours.

Not that you're horrible if you DO these things. They just aren't things that interest me or that I want to watch.

Nope, MY one guilty pleasure is...

Des... the current Bachelorette
I am a hopeless addict of watching the Bachelor/Bachelorette.

There. I said it.

Maybe it is the romantic in me... although really? Dating and kissing that many guys at one time with a bajillion cameras rolling is NOT really that romantic.

But the whole idea of searching for true love and weeding out the riff-raff until you find that one that makes your heart sing... *sigh* Yes, I'm silly. I know.

My current book I'm working on finishing up is actually loosly based on The Bachelor. I created my "own" reality TV show that takes a few little pieces from a variety of shows and blends them to make a while new one. But the book actually takes place 6 months AFTER the show ended, and portrays the not-so-pretty aftermath of a "match" gone wrong.

So, using this theme, I thought I'd post my own advice to the "bachelorette" and all future bachlorette's, based on my avid watching of the show. Not that they'll ever read it. Just for the pure fun of it:-)

(a few years ago, I posted about 10 things men can learn from The Bachelorette... so flipping the tables!)

Krista's Tips to the Bachelorette

1.) I know bad boys are sexy and full of intrigue... but they are also BAD. Like, JERKS. Say bye-bye to them... FAST.

2.) Say bye-bye to the I'm-not-here-to-make-friends dude. You can thank me later.

3.) Say bye-bye to the rat who rats out the I'm-not-here-to-make-friends dude. They really don't care about YOU making a wrong decision... they care about you not picking THEM. It's a selfish move, plain and simple.

4.) You know the guy that you are attracted to the most? The hunk with the huge muscles, firey kisses, and enough hot dripping from him that he could make an egg fry outside in the winter? Say goodbye to him too. Why you ask? Because what you feeling is LUST, not love. It won't last.

5.) Stop crying over the guys who "duped" you. Seriously? You should REJOICE that they were found out. One less option, now closer to your guy. Throw a celebration!

6.) The Fantasy Suite. Worst. Idea. Ever. Alone time = good. But if you really sleep with ANY of those guys that night.... There's a word for women who do that, one I will not use on my blog. Just don't, okay? If you have to "try on" before you "purchase" like you would a pair of shoes, then chances are you'll treat your future relationship the same... tossing your man in the Goodwill pile when the newness wears off.

7.) Chris doesn't know everything. Just sayin'.

8.) Go easy on the wine. You want to be 100% sober when you hand out those roses!

9.) You do realize you can say NO to the irritating guy who interrupts you after 5 seconds with the previous guy, right? Try this, "Oh, I'm sorry, we're actually not done talking. I'll come get you and we'll chat in just a moment, okay?" Eagerness to be with you is great... rudeness is totally different.

10.) Enjoy that skinny belly while it lasts. When those kids you are dreaming of come... you'll be tossing that bikini into a garage sale pile and might very well might be proudly walking around in that one-piece with a skirt that advertises, "TUMMY SLIMMER" on the tag. *ahem* I, of course, would have no experience with this phenomenon. *ahem*


Anyone else have tips?

What is YOUR guilty TV pleasure?

2 comments:

Rachel Anderson said...

Love it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

BlessedMommy said...

Laughing so hard! I am also a Bachelor/Bachelorette fanatic!