I still remember the phone call. July 28th at around 3 in the morning.
"Mrs Phillips? I'm sorry to have to call, but needed to let you know that Annabelle has become severely decompensated. We are doing CPR right now and are calling in the surgeon."
I still shake a little when I remember being in the sleep room at Vanderbilt Children's and hearing that phone ring, digesting those terrifying words. I remember screaming, waking my husband who was still asleep, and shaking as I fell on my knees and begged God to save our baby Annabelle.
We've come a long way since that point.
And ten months and five days after her birth, we are finally going home today. FOR SURE. Her numbers this morning weren't perfect, but they were better!
So many people have asked me lately, or said to me, "I don't know how you've done it. You must be SO strong."
I have a few things to say to that:
1.) 2 Corinithians 12:9 NIV - But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me.
God's strength is made perfect in MY weakness. Never, ever, ever, will I boast to be strong enough to handle this. I have not been. I have fallen to the ground so many times when I've tried to go it alone, so the strength you see is not me, but is Christ living in me, pure and simple. Krista, without God, would have taken up smoking and been on some powerful drug!
2.) You do what you have to do. One day. At a time. If you are faced with something huge to go through, you can't conquer it all. You just can't. And God won't give you this massive, elephant-sized strength to get through it. He gives you strength each day, each morning, to get through that day. He promises no more, no less. If you're looking for strength for tomorrow, you'll be overwhelmed and out of luck.
Isaiah 40:31 (NIV)- But those who trust in the LORD will find new strength. They will soar high on wings like eagles. They will run and not grow weary. They will walk and not faint.
Isaiah 33:2 (NIV)- LORD, be gracious to us; we long for you. Be our strength every morning, our salvation in time of distress.
Matthew 6:34 (NLT)- So don't worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will bring its own worries. Today's trouble is enough for today.
We are headed home sometime this afternoon. Unsure of a time, but will post pictures probably tomorrow if I can.
Your continued prayers as we make this transition to home are so very appreciated.
And with that, please join us in dancing at heavens doors with loud praises on Annabelle's behalf. Because we serve a good and faithful God.
No matter what we go through, even if the outcome isn't something we would prefer...
God is ALWAYS good. All the time.