I LOVE BABY STEPS
I used to be one of those people that loved to take big honkin' steps, you know leaping around and hurrying to do everything and accomplishing BIG things.
I still hurry... that's just who I am.
But now I am a lover of baby steps, especially with Annabelle. Mostly because Annabelle has proven that big steps aren't her cup of milk.
This week has been full of baby steps. Trying to ease off her oxygen, sometimes having to ease back up. We went on a short "walk" the other day to the quiet room for just a few minutes. Not too much to overtax her, but enough to get her out of her room. We also did a swallow study today, and she got approved to start "trying" to work on eating. We will be going VERY VERY slow though, starting with smelling, then little tastes, as she is not too pleased about the whole eating idea.
In Other News
Scott and I have also taken another baby step in the last few weeks. Well, it's actually a pretty big step, but I'm viewing it as a baby one to make me feel better:-)
In September after my maternity leave, I went back to work, and my job was OH so very kind to let me work odd hours to get my job done, and has been so supportive through all of this with Annabelle.
However, my FMLA leave expired last week. (I was taking a part-time leave prior to her transplant, but haven't worked much since the transplant as I felt Annabelle needed me here.)
So, I'm officially without a job. *gulp*
Now, my work has been tremendously understanding of the situation, so I will be working on a contract basis for a few months to help transition the department (I was the payroll manager) as well as working on projects, so we won't be completely without income at least on the short-term. And they are letting me do this remotely, so I can work from home/hospital, too.
I have two very different sets of feelings on all this.
The first, I'll be honest, is gut-wrenching fear. Throughout Annabelle's hospital stay, while money hasn't been growing from trees due to my reduced hours, it was one thing I wasn't "worried" about. But now, there is a big question mark in the future. I've had a ton of question marks over the last year, and I STILL don't like them! But God knows the answer to our questions, and HE is in control. So while I'm scared, I'm still trusting in Him.
The second is thankfulness. I've been praying, begging, God to let me be home for a long time, well before Annabelle. While I knew there was no way Scott and I could make ends meet without me working, my heart yearned to be able to stay home with my kiddos. But when Annabelle was born, the feeling overwhelmed me. So even if it is just in the short term, I'm thankful that God took the decision out of my hands, has allowed me to still add some funds to pay bills, and give me at least a period of time where I can focus on being a wife and a mom and a caregiver to Annabelle.
One further note:
Without detailing our finances to you, Scott and I worked really hard a few years ago (THANKS Dave Ramsey!) to pay off our cars and credit cards and build up our emergency fund. This was a huge God thing too, as we both had an urgency to do so, and I'm SO thankful that we listened and buckled down. So while all this is scary, we're okay... for at least a little bit. We are a walking advertisement for the Total Money Makeover, why you should get your finances in order BEFORE something devastating happens like a lost job.
Prayers for our discernment on what God wants us to do about finances/jobs etc are appreciated, and specifically for my husband as he starts to look for a full-time job! (he currently works part-time in the evenings.)
For Annabelle, please pray that we are able to continue to wean from her oxygen as well, hopefully to OFF, so we can go home... maybe next week???
Oh, and GOOD news! Annabelle's friend, Anna Reese, made it out of the ICU now too! Continued prayers that she can go home soon (maybe as early as next week!!!!) are appreciated!
Not sure you get a smile bigger than that one!!!!
Daddy's phone pic... sorry for the dark... but this is Annabelle with barium cream all over her mouth during her swallow study! She wasn't quite amused.
Rockin' her new Minnie Mouse PJ's!
Snuggling with Momma at bed time! Momma's snuggle bug!