Saturday, February 19, 2011

Boston answer and Chuck-e crime

My eyes are closing on their own as I type. I'm physically and emotionally exhausted... doesn't help that it's almost midnight, but whatever. I won't have time to write tomorrow so thought I'd update tonight.

Funny of the day:

I got in trouble at Chuck E Cheese. (and tweeted that it was chuckie cheese, which really shows how tired I am since I couldn't spell it right) Anywho, dropped my girls off since they had a birthday party, and as we were leaving, the evil (I mean sweet) lady at the front asked what we were doing leaving with our kids still there. I explained that they were with a party and we were coming back, and she was like, fine, leave. Then while she was telling my hubby how to undo the little roped gate thing because she was too busy to do it for us, I just rolled my eyes and do what I'm famous for, took matters into my own hands and stepped over the very short step-overable rope.

Evil sweet lady was not pleased. "WHAT ARE YOU DOING? DO NOT do step over the rope. You're teaching kids bad things!"

In a move I'm not proud of, I snickered and just walked on. Not very Christian of me. I probably should have apologized. But I gotta be honest. I found it hilarious. A little irritating to be talked to like I'm ten, but whatever. It was funny.

Anyway, back to non-chuck-e-crime issues.

We got our letter back from Boston Children's today. To explain everything would be quite long, but to summarize... we are staying the course with transplant. Scott and I both feel that at this point and time, this is what God is leading us to do. Boston reiterated that a bi-ventricular repair, even though she has the volume needed, would be dangerous right now because of her poor heart-muscle function. There is a chance it could improve, but that is small. And the course we'd have to take to do the bi-ventricle repair is full of many surgeries, long odds, and much suffering by not only Annabelle physically, but my other children and husband as well.

This said, I view life as a road trip of sorts, with God being the navigator.

I think sometimes we view him as saying, "Go down I40" and when every exit comes, we look at him and say, "Do you want us to take this one?"

Sometimes he says yes, and we do.

But sometimes that stop off is just at a rest area or to gas up, and then he says, get back on the interstate.

Other times, we take that road to another interstate... or take the long way.

We don't know why we take the turns we do. We don't know why we don't stay on the same road that he started us on. Maybe there are wrecks ahead, slow traffic, or maybe he just wants us to take in the scenery for a bit.

I'm reminded that our journey isn't complete until we are in heaven, until we've completed all the stops and things God has for us in this life. WE have no clue how long the trip will last.

Example: Writing. So many, myself included, feel God calling them to write (fill this in with any other dream that you persue.) We start down the road to publication, and all is looking well, but to be honest, many of us don't make it. There are a LOT of people out there wanting to write a book and do, but not a lot of people that make it to the "published" destination. Then we start to question... did God REALLY call us to do that?

Yep. He did. But just because he started us down one road, doesn't mean that there aren't turns that he wants us to take off of that. Does that make any sense?

I'm viewing Boston as one of those. It was really clear to us that it was a road we at least needed to start down. We needed to get the MRI, get the second opinion, and really examine the option. But in the end, God said to get back on the transplant interstate.

He had a reason for our detour though. I've learned a lot in the last few weeks, both about Annabelle's condition, and about myself. I've come to a place where I understand "obediance" to God, maybe not completely, but a lot better than I did before.

It's easy to obey when something makes sense. Not so easy when something seems crazy and out there.

Look at poor Noah. Everyone was rolling their eyes at him.

I feel like I needed to get to the place where I could say and really mean, "God, as crazy as this is, even though I have NO idea how we are going to do this, if you want us to go down this road, we will." It was like starting down a road with an empty tank of gas and having faith that God would fill it.

Okay, so I've probably beaten this analogy into the ground, but it's how I feel today.

Today, I know that heart transplant is what God wants us to go toward. And I'm praying that we'll continue to listen to any future turns he asks us to make.

It is now 2 minutes into tomorrow, and my eyes are drooping, so GOODNIGHT! THANK YOU for your prayers for us during this time, and I'll update again in a few days. Right now, Annabelle is sleeping, doing well, and stable.

Now all we need is a heart. *sigh*

15 comments:

Keli Gwyn said...

Krista, I'm so thankful the Lord made it clear which road He wants you to take. May you feel His love, strength, and support as you continue down the transplant interstate.

Hugs

Riete said...

Thank God you now know what road to take. If you hadn't looked into all other options you probably would always wondered if you had done enough ...
Now you know and you can drive on ;)
(fuelled by your and our prayers)

Shannan said...

I'm so glad that you have come to a decision about all this. I've been praying for Annabell and your family. If it means anything, as a heart mom, I think you made the right decision. God is good and He will direct your path!
Shannan
Proud mom to Jamie (PA/IVS)

Danna said...

I am so happy that God gave you wisdom, peace and guidance towards making this decision. I cannot imagine how difficult it must have been but am so grateful for Him. I hope that you were able to get some rest last night and that you have a wonderful day today!

Jean M said...

Maybe your Boston route wasn't necessarily a "detour", but a more like something to confirm to you that you are making the right decision with the transplant. At least you are going into it with all the information you could have armed yourself with. I pray that through the power of the Holy Spirit, you will be fueled up every day to take your journey - one day at a time. Praying for that transplant too!!

Jenn said...

I am so thankful that you guys have an answer. We will continue to pray for Miss Annabelle as you wait for a heart.

I'm sorry you got yelled at at Chuck. E. Cheese. But it is a little funny...

Christin said...

I totally relate to your story of being a writer. Except in my case, I'm a musician. It's kind of one of those things where I knew God had called me to be a musician and then several years later I'm not really sure where I'm headed with this. My band never got signed, which is the equivilent of a writer not getting published. Things didn't go at all like I'd planned and so I have the tendency to assume that it didn't go according to God's plan either. How foolish of me to think that! Anyway, I'm happy you guys finally got an answer from Boston, even if it wasn't what you'd originally hoped for. I'm praying that Annabelle gets a heart really soon! Blessings to you!

Susan J. Reinhardt said...

Hi Krista -

I'm glad you now have peace about the direction for Annabelle's treatment. Sometimes we need to look at all our options, weigh them, and get wise counsel.

You and Scott know you're doing the very best in your power to help her.

Blessings,
Susan

Sherrinda said...

I love these stories from your heart, Krista. They are always so full of faith. Even though there is questioning and anger and doubt, your speaks your faith. And it is very beautiful.

Thanks for the update. I am praying. Always.

Pepper said...

Krista,
You are such an inspiration.
May the Lord bring a heart to Annabelle.
It's certainly clear that you have enough heart for the entire family.

Sarah Forgrave said...

Love, love, love your analogy! Brilliant and beautiful.

So glad God made the decision clear for you. We're on Day 26 of waiting...Still praying for our transplant sister, Annabelle. :)

Charlie Company said...

Oh how you just spoke to me about detours and exits and the scenic route. I needed to hear that. Your faith continues to amaze me, and all of you remain in our prayers.

Jason Wert said...

Still praying for you guys...you Chuck E. Criminal. ;)

Krista Phillips said...

THANK YOU everyone for your prayers and kind words! Scott and I really appreciate them!!! You all are such an encouragement to us... I can't thank you enough.

-krista (aka chuck.e.criminal -- thanks Jason for the title!)

Anonymous said...

GODS MEDICINE
Thank you father that Annabelle has a strong heart. Annabelles Heart beats with the rhythm of life. Her blood flows to every cell of her body restoring life and health aboundantly.(Prov.12:14;1430) her heart was made by God we call it forth into wholness. every heart beat with the rythem of life, carrying the life of God throughout her body restoring life and health aboundantly.(john17,23;Eph.2:22) We command her blood cells to destroy every disease germ and virus that tries to inhabit her body.we command evey cell of her body to be normal in Jesus name.(romans5:17 luke 17'6)
In Jesus Name We forbid her body to be decieved in any manner. Body,you will not be deceived by any disease germ or virus.Neither will you work against life or healthin any way. every cell in your body supports life and health.
We speak out that her immune system grows stronger day by day we forbid confusion in her imune system.Annabelle we speak the word of Faith to you. I demand that every organ perform a perfect work,for you are the temple of te Holy Spirit;therefore, I charge you in the name of Jesus Christ and by the authority of His holy Word to be healed and made whole in JESUS name. (Prov.12:18)


Romans 4:17-22 that Abraham became fully persuaded that God would do what He had promised. The way he became fully persuaded was by calling those things wich were not manifest as though they were.


I do pry for the doctors, When my grandma was on her death bed and we were always told the worst. I would speak this prayers out loud to her every time the doctor would say one thing I would say thank you. And then speak dr Jesuses words over her. I hope you hear my heart. My grandma is now going to be 91. Even though you think they dont hear you they do.

Praying for strength, encouragement and Joy over your family. Annabelle, is a wounderful child of God. And she has a beautifull family. Thank you Father for allowing us in their life. I speak many more blessings for this year and the year to come. :)