I think Annabelle likes to give things a whirl three times.
It took her three times to get extubated originally.
We've been to "the floor" out of ICU three times (well, it will be kind four, if you include the Cath visit to the PICU and our newest development)
And it looks like it will take us three times to "go home" too.
First, she ran a fever on Christmas Eve, the day we were to go home.
And yesterday, we were planning to go home and had everything ready AGAIN... and we are now back in the ICU as of yesterday morning.
I'm believing the third time is a charm this time as well.
I kinda wish if she wasn't gonna go home... something would happen the day BEFORE we go home instead of the day OF... but God calls the shots, not me. And He knows what He is doing, even if it does make us scratch our heads sometimes.
Scott and I came back to the hospital really late Saturday night, as we were trying to do the last few things at home to get ready for Annabelle. We got in about midnight, and the nurse was in with Annabelle as she'd been fussy (she'd been fussy on and off most of the day). The nurse left, and Scott and I settled in to sleep. The first fifteen minutes was quiet.
I think that was the longest bit of silence the whole entire night. She was fussy, but no fever... gave her an extra dose of sedation because we'd just weaned the day before, but then she ran a fever... turned a little blue, we turned up her O2's, she finally settled down, but then started coughing and had junk in her throat, so we suctioned... then the nurse said she'd take care of her a while so I could sleep, which I did for maybe 30 minutes (by now it's about 6 a.m.) and then they were taking cultures and blood gasses because she still isn't well and is still running a fever.
Not sure if she has a virus, or just got extremely agitated from weaning sedation, or if this is left over from the Cath when she was intubated, as Annabelle tends to have a lot of extra secretions after she is intubated and has a hard time coughing them up herself. Since they can't deep suction her on "the floor" and her blood gas was so bad, we were sent back down to the PICU.
Hopefully though this is just a brief stay. She is resting comfortably FINALLY, but still pretty junky in her chest, and ran a small low grade fever briefly this morning. So far she's tested negative for RSV and the Flu... but there are a whole host of other viruses it could be.
Our prayer is that she's doing awesome in the next day or two, goes back upstairs, and we can continue our journey home very soon. I have no clue what that time-frame will be now though. It just stinks to have to be stuck in the hospital due to what might just be a cold.
Thank you for all your prayers. This has been such a long journey for our family, but God knows, and God is faithful.
On a separate, so much less important note...
As many of you know, I like to write. The genre of my heart is Inspirational Contemporary Romance with a splash of humor. Mostly because I love sappy endings and I love to laugh and I love Jesus, so this just fits me well!
One thing you probably don't know about me is that I'm not a huge non-fiction book lover. I just have a hard time reading them. I like stories... fake ones! It's just my nature I guess...
A few months ago, I was sitting in Annabelle's room, and had the itch to write. But my current work in progress was just not on my mind. So I sat down with a blank MS Word document on my screen, and began to type.
I'd love to report to you that this wonderful novel was birthed and only God could have allowed me to write like that, but alas, the writing was pure and utter crap. The story was non-existent. It was just plain dumb. I won't even tell you what it's about, as I'd love to savor at least a little positive reputation.
So scratch that idea for now.
Then people started making little comments to me like, "You should write a book about what you're learning with Annabelle."
My initial reaction was to roll my eyes. The thought was ridiculous!
And I admit, my reaction now is pretty close to that still.
Let me explain a little why. Regardless of the whole "not a non-fiction" girl I am... I've studied enough about the publishing world to know that there are certain criteria needed in order to "publish" a non-fiction book. The biggest, most important one is this: Platform. About equally important is a unique hook for your book.
Platform boils down to this principle: How many people "know" you and will buy your book because of your name? Do you go "speak" at engagements with thousands of people and are able to "sell" your books yourself? Publishers these day want at least some guarantee of sales.
So... please comment and let me know if you will buy my book so I can prove I have potential sales...
Seriously though, if everyone who ever went through a personal tragedy and learned from it, wrote a book... well, there are unfortunately a ton of personal tragedy's and a ton of people wanting to write a book about them. Publishers and Agents are overwhelmed with people who say, "My _____ died and I wrote a book about my journey..." or "_______ happened to me and God showed me _______ and told me to write a book and share it with the world!"
Sometimes I think God is telling us to "share" what we've learned with people, and the most obvious choice is through a book. But sometimes, maybe it's just sharing with a neighbor... or through a blog... or with a women's group at church... Sometimes God uses little ways to do big things. It doesn't have to be on a grand scale.
All the "reason's not to" aside... two people came to me this last week and mentioned that it's been on their heart to tell me that God wants me to write a book out of this.
Again, my initial reaction is, "Um, No." For all the reasons I've mentioned.
But at the same time, I'm a big believer in not telling God "No" if he's really calling you to do something. And the more I wrestle with it, the more confused I get. I really do NOT have a clear direction as to whether this is something God wants me to do.
I'm really NOT looking for a bunch of people to say, "YES!!! WRITE A BOOK!!!" I don't have time right now to actually WRITE one anyway. (And I'd REALLY love to have a little time to work on editing the books I HAVE written...)
But your prayers, mainly for Annabelle, are appreciated, but also for my family, and for me to be obedient to God in WHATEVER he calls me to do.
Love you all... sorry for the ridiculously long post:-)
Annabelle yesterday in the PICU... conked. :-)