Monday, October 18, 2010

Frustration... thy name is surgery!

We've been bumped several times in this process. And really, I DO UNDERSTAND!

The first surgery, schedule was Friday but an emergency came up and doctor couldn't do it until Monday... and this was AFTER she was already intubated, put to sleep, and the little dotted lines on her chest.

Then a few weeks ago, we were scheduled for Tuesday Cath but got bumped to Wednesday due to an overload in the Cathlab on Monday. I totally understand. Stuff happens.

BUT URGH! This Glenn thing is testing every ounce of my patience!

First... we were told that we needed to have it "pretty quickly" after her heart cath because of risk of lung infection (which she got last week by the way! Or they think she got... or something...)

Then, they said, no, we can't do it until end of the next week, beginning of the week after. I didn't like this, but was okay with it.

Then they said, YEAH, we schedule it... for Wednesday of the week after. Not so yeah for me, because this was now 2 weeks after her heartcath, but I decided that God knows when her surgery needs to be and I need to stop being so demanding.

Then they said, whoops, lots of surgeries next week, it'll be Thursday.

And again, I was okay with this. Only one day bump.

But this morning they said she isn't scheduled at all and don't know when they will schedule her.

THIS I am not okay with. I want to scream and cry and rant and rage. I know I can't. I know I shouldn't. I SHOULD be patient and trust that God knows and will plan out the perfect time. I SHOULD be understanding because I know there are a lot of babies who need surgery right now, and theirs is just as important as Annabelle's.

And I am really not MAD persay, just very, very tired of this and blah. I really just want to know. I'm a planner. I have to plan work, my inlaws are coming into to stay with the kids, my hubby has asked off work too, and I JUST NEED TO PLAN. Plus, I've been gearing myself up emotionally for this too, and now that it is a big huge ????? I'm just... yeah. I'm JUST.

Okay, so I've vented, and I'll be better, I promise. I will get over this and will be kind and nice and not yell. I will trust that even when I have no clue what is going on, that God knows.

I might not be perfect at doing them... but I'll give it a valiant effort.

On a bright note: A nurse let me hold my Annabelle last night! A rare... and needed... treat. I'm contemplating bribing them with chocolate to let me do so again tonight. Then again, I'm afraid of moving her too much and hurting her too. *sigh* One of these days, hopefully SOON< I will be able to just pick up my baby when I want to and love on her as much as my Mommy heart desires!

I'm in a hurry today... so don't have time to upload a pick, but go here http://twitpic.com/2ylcsc to see a pic of me holding my Annabelle last night!

I will update when I get a surgery date. At this point, I'd be fine if they just made one up so I at least pretend I know what is going on...

**** UPDATE****

We have a date again! And we are on the official schedule! This doesn't mean, of course, that we can't get bumped, but i'm hoping and praying not since it is the third date we've gotten!

Surgery will be first case on Friday the 22nd. (first case is MUCH better than 2nd since usually if you are bumped, you're just bumped to later in the day instead of to the next day...)

8 comments:

Katie Johnson said...

You know wayyy too much about medical stuff now. I know you're going to be so glad to escape the hospital and get your little sweetie home. Feeling your frustration and wish I could help you in any way!

Cindy R. Wilson said...

It is sooooo okay to vent, Krista. That's too much emotional strain to deal with yourself.

God's timing is perfect so I'll just pray for you along the way for the patience and peace needed to get through each day.

Harvestmom said...

Just FYI - chocolate does work wonders with the nurses :-) Did I already tell you this? One time we had triplets and we told the dad that the babies get well faster when you bring the nurses chocolate..... So he brought us in some great boxes of candy - SURE ENOUGH all 3 babies were satting the best they had all been at one time - go figure....

Sorry for all the frustrations....can't even imagine.....will pray it goes as scheduled on Friday! Speaking of surgery....I'm going in to the "shop" for some new "hardware" on Nov 15th (new knee...lol).... My dad gets TWO new knees next Tues......keeping the ortho guys in business!

Love and hugs,

Laurie

CMOM Productions said...

I'll be keeping you, your family, and your sweet little one in my prayers. Beautiful photo!

Sherrinda said...

Ooooo, girl, you vent GREAT! I love it! Seriously, it's so good to get all that frustration out. And now look....you got a date for Friday...the first case! That is GREAT news!

Praying & Praying....(((hugs)))

Keli Gwyn said...

My heart goes out to you, Krista. Waiting and not knowing can be so challenging. It's our nature to want to plan, to feel some sense of control. When we don't, few of us fare well.

I'm so happy to hear that Annabelle is on the schedule again. May the Lord move mightily and pave the way for a timely and successful surgery.

Kristen said...

Hi! I'm here from Bowen's site. I hope you don't mind. I remembered you said Annabelle's surgery was today so I wanted to check up on her. Just reading your blog makes me feel frustrated for you. It also gave me a desire to pray more for the Dr.s. What a big responsibility to operate on all these little babies. I sometimes get overwhelmed with so many things to do. What if someones life depended on each thing. So glad to hear she is back on for Friday. I will be praying for you all.

Krista Phillips said...

Kristen, I don't mind at all!! You did, however, find me at my low/throw-hissy-fit moment, and for that I apologize!! I'm better now... :-)

Really, GOD knew when her surgery needed to be, so Friday it is, and I am happy with that!

YES! Doctor's and nurses and surgeons need a TON of prayer. I could never do what they do... They are a very special group of people and while I might complain sometimes, I am OH SO greatful for their care of my Annabelle!!!`