Monday, July 12, 2010

Giving Someone the Finger??

Funny story.

In church yesterday, Scott and I were standing and singing during worship, and I looked over and saw this little boy being held by his grandma. He was looking at various people, but what was unique about him was his finger.

His hand was palm toward him, and only his middle finger pointed straight up.

He continued like this for a good few minutes until we sat down and his grandma noticed it. She promptly covered his hand and turned him around and whispered in his ear.

Hubby and I, of course, could barely withhold our giggles.

In a weird, roundabout way, it reminded me of something God's been teaching me lately. That little boy had zero idea that what he was doing was offensive. He was just pointing ... kinda. But everyone around him knew it was offensive.

I was reading this last week a few chapters in Proverbs about the difference between the Godly and unGodly, those who are wise and unwise, those who are prideful and those who are meek, those who control their tongue, and those who don't.

A few of the verses in particular made me uncomfortable, because they pointed out areas in my life were I haven't been as Godly as I thought I had been.

Doesn't God do that sometimes? Bring just the right verse or the right person into our lives to shed light on something that isn't right? It's like a bright light that makes our deficiencies glaringly obvious, and in turn, makes us horribly uncomfortable.

And then we have a choice. Do we change, or give the messenger the proverbial finger and go on with our ways, excusing it because the messenger is too old-fashioned, too caught up in rules, or too full of themselves and who do they really think they are, telling us what to do? Oh, and the Bible probably didn't REALLY mean it THAT way ... it was talking to THOSE people, not us.

Sorry, you knew I'd have to get back to "the finger" discussion somehow, huh!

My challenge to you all today is this: Is there an area in your life God is trying to light up so you can change and grow in Him? Oh, I don't expect everyone to come clean and share your areas with us all (feel free if you want to though!)

One area God has really been hounding me on is trust. I had been feeling lately that I am trusting him well, especially with Annabelle. But God cleared his throat and pointed to a particularly sensitive area and asked me if I trusted him with it too.

I have to be honest with you. I stuttered a little bit.

You see, with Annabelle, I have no ability to "help" the situation. It is so far beyond me that the only thing I could do is lay my little girl at Jesus' feet and trust her with Him.

Even my writing career, as much as I still try to take control at times, seems so big and beyond me that I really do feel like, most of the time, I do a good job at trusting God with my future.

But in this other area that I've been really praying about for the last two years, I haven't been trusting God with it. I've been begging God, pleading with Him, trying to tell Him what He needs to do, reminding him that I'm reaching my breaking point, but alas, He hasn't listened to a word I said. (or, so it feels somedays.)

Why? Because I don't think I really have been trusting Him. I expected him to do it my way, via my plan. Really, I thought I was trusting him because I was expecting him to "do" something specific. But God has shown me that He wants me to trust him with the whole situation, even the "how" and the "if". Even if he chooses not to "fix" it, then I need to trust Him to get me through it, to give me strength to stand it. I've even taken it into my own hands a few times and tried to change it myself, and God just stood and shook his head, and I made everything worse.

I have to tell you. When this was pointed out to me recently (by my wonderful mother, go figure) it was a hard pill to swallow. I said a lot of "but ... but... but..."'s. But really, she was right.

I'll will be bluntly honest with you too. I'm still not wholly trusting Him with it. I still try to remind him, I still struggle with it daily. But thank GOD for his grace, his mercy, and his forgiveness. He knows I'm trying, and He's helping me.

Anyone else in the same boat I am? Or have a past experience to share with us? I'm a firm believer that sharing our stories can help encourage others toward Jesus as well!

6 comments:

Ruth said...

Trust is an area God is refining me in A LOT lately as well. Difficult, but in those moments, those "flashes" when I feel I'm taking a another baby step towards "getting it," oh so worth it.

Jessica Nelson said...

I know what you mean. Great point about how it's sometimes easier to trust God when we have no control, but the things we can control we tend to trust ourselves on.
I'm sure I have dark areas of my life I don't even notice. Maybe today God'll shine a little God-light on me. :-)
Hope you have a wonderful morning!

Andrea said...

I struggle daily, sweet friend. i am very much a work in progress and will be til the day I die!
Hugs,
andrea

Terri Tiffany said...

Trust is it for me too--that our money won't run out before we get jobs. That he will give us a life back again--it goes on. And trusting is hard when I am a fixer. I can't fix my situation no matter how hard I have tried. And maybe that's just want He wants me to learn.

Lisa Jordan said...

Add my name to the trust column too. Like you, there are certain situations that are completely out of my control so I have to put my trust in the One controls everything. Not always easy, but I'm a continual work-in-progress.

Diane said...

I have episodes of this too. I think I have surrendered an area to Him and then realize,,, nope.....