Friday, April 23, 2010

The Roller Coaster

The ride starts out with loud noises and your car jerking. Then you shift up... and go higher, and higher and higher. Your breathing gets shallower and you're anticipating what is over the crest ahead.

All the sudden, you are at the top, and time stands still. You're about ready to fall, and you know it, but there isn't a thing you can do about it. Then the bottom drops out and you're descending at a maddening pace, your hair is flailing behind you and your heart feels as if it's clinging to the sole of your shoe for dear life.

Then you shift upwards again, and the sun blinds you. You twist, turn, and spin. You want to scream from the thrill then moments later throw up from the death-defying danger. Up, and down, sideways, then you slow down... and you breathe again. Your heart is still racing, but it begins to normalize. You pull into the station, but just as the ride begins to stop, it starts again... and you get ready to do the ride all over again.

Life is a lot of things. Lately, I feel this roller coaster is in fast successions of down, up, down, up, down, up, down.

Some of them are little things... then others are big. Some affect me directly, others affect those that I love dearly.

Little things are like not finaling in a contest. It stunk, but I'm a firm believer that everything happens for the reason. So that was a little downer, but then I got my scores and with a little input from blogger/writer/friend Keli Gwyn, found out that they weren't that bad, in fact one was a perfect score and another was pretty darn close to one. It was my first (and probably only, HA!) perfect score in a contest, so that made me feel MUCH better.

I had an ultrasound done a month ago, and baby did NOT cooperate so we could ensure little love is a girl. They also couldn't see a good view of her heart, so we scheduled another one for last week. Positive: We were able to tell that sweetie is definitely a girl... Negative: They still have concerns over her little baby girl heart so I go see a specialist today to make sure everything is okay.

It's funny how some things put everything else into perspective. Rejections, gender of baby, writer's contests, swollen feet... none of it matters in light of the health of my wee little one.

The ups and downs may seem huge... until you crest the next one that is even higher or dips down even lower. It's like a camera that zooms in to make something look huge, but then you zoom out and realize you were really looking at a miniature version.

Discussion: What ups and downs have you faced lately? How do you keep everything in its proper perspective?

Also, if you think of it, say a little prayer for Baby Phillips today, that her little baby girl heart turns out to be a-okay!

11 comments:

Katie Ganshert said...

Oh Krista, I'm praying for you and that little baby!! Keep us updated as soon as you hear anything. I'll pray for peace for you and hubby and health for your little girl and wisdom for the doctors.

Wendy Paine Miller said...

I will pray. I've endured some bumpy ultrasounds.

And a perfect score! Good night--can you get any better than that?

I've certainly had some jerks and fits lately, my father passing being one huge drop, but I'm on the uphill climb ready to slide down and scream from pleasure next time. ;)
~ Wendy

Terri Tiffany said...

I've been reading and not always commenting but seeing and praying that your baby will be fine. Will pray for you and her today:)
My life has been a non-stop roller coaster ride since my hubby lost his job. It evens out some but then when my work took a nose dive two weeks ago and I walked out--well, I need to see that blue sky and wind in my face again:) Maybe we will all get great results from Genesis!

Valerie said...

Hey, KP. I put little bitty on the prayer list at our church the other day. Wade and the boys and I pray for you and her every night. :)

Caroline Starr Rose said...

Praying for you Krista.

patti said...

Oh, I will pray for Baby Phillips! Thanks for sharing your roller coaster, dear one.

Sigh. Sometimes every DAY is a roller coaster, full of unexpected, stomach-lurching twists. But He has His hand on the control panel. We can trust in that. And try to enjoy the ride!!!

Keli Gwyn said...

Krista, your post brought tears to my eyes. I said a prayer for your precious little girl and her heart, for you and your hubby as you await better news, and for your daughter's medical team. Please keep us posted so we know how best to pray.

Erica Vetsch said...

Krista, I'm praying for you and the baby!

Karen Lange said...

Praying for you. God is faithful.

Linda Phillips said...

Constantly praying for our little one, you and whole family. Please let us know what's going on as soon as you can.

sherrinda said...

Krista, I am just now reading blogs and am praying after the fact! Did you find out anything? I pray everything is just fine and Baby P is fine and dandy.

A perfect score?!?! That is awesome! What contest was it?