Friday, April 30, 2010

Big Bad Needles

It is hard to believe that a week ago today, we got news that turned everything I knew onto its side. My little, perfect baby inside my belly has something not-so-perfect going on with her baby girl heart. I still don't understand it, I still have fifteen billion questions, and the future still seems oh so scary, to be quite blunt.

But I'm coping. And that's better than I can say for a week ago.

I spent last weekend pretty much crying 99% of the time. I was having issues anyway with being weepy with this pregnancy, and this just put me over the edge. I even cried during church, which I NEVER do (I'm one of those who cries just not in public if at all possible...)

But come Monday, I put on my big girl pants (Sherrinda... yes, I borrowed them from you! Amazing how they stretched... ) and went to work.

And let me tell you, it's been a heck of a week. I've been busy, overwhelmed and everywhere I turn there's something to fix, a problem to solve, someone needing my help. Not that it isn't that way normally, but it was doubly so this week. And in some crazy way, I think God planned it, because I had even less time to sit and wallow in my pain and fear.

I also found out just a little bit more about baby's condition this week, but not enough to really know what is going on to explain. I have 3 different Dr. Appointments over the next 2 weeks, and I hope they can answer my questions then.

My most urgent prayer request is for this Wednesday. I have a test to help tell if baby could have chromosome abnormalities which caused her heart condition. In my heart I don't think anything else is wrong with her, I really don't. But please just pray and believe with me that the tests will be negative for any other abnormalities.

And pray that I can be a big girl and get the test done without passing out at the thought of the very scary needle. Y'all, I give birth naturally with no epidural because I HATE needles and thought of one in my back gives me chills. The thought of one in my belly... *shudder*

But I know I'll feel better ruling out the possibility, and it will help the doctors as they plan to give my baby the best care possible.

And, of course, I'm still praying that the doctor's are amazed when they find that God has healed my little girl's heart.

Discussion: Have you ever had to do something you were petrified of?

17 comments:

Jessica Nelson said...

Oh Krista! I did natural births too because I didn't want a needle in my back. Needles don't scare me, I give blood like a champ, but to have it anywhere near my spinal cord...it just ain't happening.

I'm praying for all of you and that special little girl inside of you!

Katie Ganshert said...

PRayers! Prayers! Prayers!! Krista, you and your little one will be covered in prayers.

sherrinda said...

I'm with you Krista and am praying for a miracle that will wow the doctor's socks off.

p.s. With the weight I've been gaining lately, those big girl pants should still fit just fine! :)

Heather Sunseri said...

Oh, Krista. I'm praying for you, your hubby and sweet baby girl. May God blanket you in strenth, comfort, and peace of mind and heart as you go through this trial. And may God heal and provide whatever miracle you need for that loved little girl. In Jesus's name, Amen.

Wendy Paine Miller said...

I did something last month that terrified me, but I got through. Too emotional about it to go through it now.

I will pray for you. I know this must be a huge concern. My heart is with you.
~ Wendy

patti said...

Oh, Krista, I will be praying for you, dear one. Thank you for sharing your request...and your fear.

You are facing this head on like Christ intended, with honesty, need, and faith!!!

Hmmm, the whole birthing process frightened me. I too had some early "issues" regarding MY baby girl. She is now 24, married, and about to get her master's!!

Blessings,
Patti

Keli Gwyn said...

Continued prayers for you, your hubby, your precious daughter, and her medical team. May the Lord fill you with an extra measure of peace as you face the tests, especially the one on Wednesday.

Erica Vetsch said...

You're in my prayers, Krista.

T. Anne said...

I'm praying!!!!!! I heart you Krista and you and your sweet angel are in my prayers! It will all go well. :)

Maria I. Morgan said...

So sorry to hear this, Krista! Know that I'll be praying for you and the health of your daughter's heart. He IS a God of miracles. God bless you!

Carla Gade said...

You and your baby girl are in my prayers, Krista!

Cindy said...

Krista, I will definitely keep you and your little girl in my prayers.

Krista Phillips said...

Just as a note that I should have clarified:

Scott and I are still praying about having the procedure done at all. It is optional... but if the results are negative that would help me prepare SO much. But there is some risk to it so we're still a wee bit cautious. I just don't want to NOT do it because I'm afraid when we really do need to.

but I don't want to do it and risk something happening even worse to baby either.

*sigh*

Thank you, again, for all your prayers! You all are SO very wonderful!

Susan J. Reinhardt said...

Hi Krista -

I've added you and the baby to my prayer list, as well as to my email prayer list. It goes out to about 150 people.

We've all faced fearsome things. I've certainly had my share.

Hugs,
Susan

Karen Lange said...

Still praying for you, your family, and the baby.
Hugs and blessings,
Karen

Candee Fick said...

Did I do something I was petrified of? Um, I did the same big, bad needle in my belly. And survived by not looking at it.

You're in my prayers! May God give you wisdom, peace, and enough distractions to keep you sane.

As difficult as getting answers is, I found it easier to face the future armed with all the facts. It kept my prayer life focused and made the miracles more obvious.

Lynda Young said...

Many prayers to you