Friday, February 19, 2010

Top Ten Romantic Blunders


Feel free to forward to any man you know who may need this sage advice.

Ten Romantic Blunders for Men to Avoid
  1. Any gift related to a woman's need to lose weight. Just say no to the Thigh-master as an anniversary gift, okay?
  2. Telling the woman who is receiving the gift that you only got it for her because it was on sale 50% off. This implies she isn't worth paying 100% for, even though we do appreciate you getting a good deal on it. Simply put: Pay the 50% and keep your mouth shut.
  3. Trips are GREAT gifts... but not trips to things like a.) video game conventions b.) sports conventions unless she is wild about said sport--by that I mean she would go to it even if you weren't in her life--not that she bears with it just to make you happy. c.) places that we don't care about but you love. Let US give YOU that! Oh, and anything that involves visiting your in-laws (side note: I love my in-laws... just don't want Scott to surprise me with a romantic get-away to go see them... unless we are dropping off the kids on the way!)
  4. Burping or any other bodily combustion noise during an otherwise romantic moment. Total mood killer.
  5. When you're at dinner, asking your woman if she should, "really eat all that food." Unless of course, you want to sleep on the couch, deal with a crying woman, or otherwise die.
  6. Answering "Yes" or "Maybe" or "I don't know" to the question, "Honey, am I bigger than that lady over there?" The answer is ALWAYS NO MATTER WHAT, NO!
  7. Leaving the toilet seat up. If we go to the bathroom to freshen up for you, then find ourselves sitting IN the toilet... yeah... just don't do it.
  8. Ditching your wife/girlfriend to go out with the "guys."
  9. Saying at Birthday, Anniversary, Christmas, or Valentine's Day: "I didn't get you a gift... I hope that's okay." It's not okay, just an FYI. Unless, of course, you both decide PRE-event that you won't do gifts due to financial reasons, but this always should be initiated by the lady and not the man, otherwise you just look stingy. Also, it's always okay to still get wife "a little something" just to still show you care:-) We'll pretend like we're a little miffed because we didn't get you anything (and, btw, we won't) but inside we're still giddy that you got us something anyway.
  10. Dumping on cologne or aftershave instead of taking a shower. *gag*

Discussion: Do you agree with the above no-no's? Have any to add??

15 comments:

Tina Lynn said...

I think I may have just peed myself a little :D

Jessica said...

Haaahaaaa! Great list. :-) My husband and I have had the bodily noises discussion many times. *grin*

sherrinda said...

LOLOLOL...no wonder you were giggling away at McDonald's last night! Hilarious!

Jill said...

Very funny!

Andrea said...

Great list!!

Wendy @ All in a Day's Thought said...

Excellent. Love this one. We were watching a football game the other day and my man turns to me (right after a clip of the cheerleaders)..."Man, we're getting old."

Ah, love!
~ Wendy

Valerie said...

THIS is why I miss you. You make me smile! :D

I gave up the battle for #7 a long time ago. It doesn't matter to me. I need it down; the rest of the house needs it up. If it's up I'll put it down, and if it's down, they'll put it up. No biggie. :)

Here's an extra: Do not, for any reason, imply that you and your wife will ever weigh the same. Even if it's true, and even if you're smaller than she is. Just don't do it. In our minds, we are tiny little waifs of girls, and we are smaller than you. Feed the fantasy. LOL!

Ramona Richards said...

Love the list, K! A giggly way to start the morning. Here's one to add:

Don't take your wife/girlfriend to Hooters for your Valentine's Day dinner.

Yes, this happened to a friend of mine, who said the waitress complained about how few customers there were. Duh!

Tara McClendon said...

Loved number five. I'd also add addressing the person by the wrong name. Never good.

Diane said...

Funny list! I would definitely gag on aftershave, sometimes I can't even handle scented deodarent. I am not a present kind of gal, so that one I would let slide. :O)

www.dianeestrella.com

Erica Vetsch said...

These were great!

Kara said...

Hilarious! I think you covered them all:)

patti said...

Oh, howww funny! We called #10 an Aggie shower, making fun (again) of the cadets at A&M back in the day when I was a Baylor co-ed.

Have a great weekend! You're off to a good start!!! LOL.
Patti

Krista Phillips said...

Tina... Depends girlfriend:-)

Jessica... so have my husband and I!

Sherrinda... yes,I got a lot of funny looks from the fellow playplace occupants!

Wendy... Oh my, that is hilarious!

Valerie... MISS YOU TOO! I agree, it's a never winning battle, but since I only have one male in the house, I still choose to fight it sometimes.. ha! And yes. we are ALWAYS smaller than our husbands. No matter what! *grin*

Ramona... Yes, hooters isn't the most romantic date place, LOL!

Tara... I can totally imagine... "Oh, I love you Sara.. OH i mean Tara" How awful!

Diane... I'm sure you husband breathes a sigh of relief that you're not a present girl. I, on the other hand, am, and my husband probably rethinks marrying me a few times a year, LOL!

Patti... ha! So glad I could bring back memories for ya:-)

Gwen Stewart said...

Heeheehee, so so so true! LOL Thanks for the giggles, Krista! :)