Thursday, June 4, 2009

The midnight ride of Paul ... to the bathroom.

All you history buffs out there are arching your eyebrows at my subject. I know.

This is why I write contemporary romance not historical!

*grin*

So, Imagine this:

It's 12:30 in the morning. Krista is in bed and closes a book that she just finished and yawns. She should SO not be staying up so late!

Scott is at the computer searching for info on how to grow his many plants that he has cascaded across their back porch. Krista tells him it's time for bed, they have church in the morning! Like the dutiful husband he is (he really doesn't relish the couch after all) he complies.

Thirty minutes later, after routine teeth brushing and getting PJ's on, and Scott spending ten minutes trying to fix their stupid dad gum toilet that for some ridiculous reason will NOT stop running, both are snuggled in bed, drifting off into night-night sleepy land.

The room is dark and sleep is circling overhead when BAM. A clash, clunk, and shatter is heard from the bathroom loud enough to wake the dead, or at the least send sleep scurrying out of the room, replaced with shock, fear, and trembling.

Krista of course pushes Scott out of bed with a, "WHAT IS IT!? I'm scared, PROTECT ME" Scott glares at her, not really wanting to face whatever the heck is in the bathroom.

He gasps. Krista cowers in fear.

"Krista, the toilet. It's demolished. I think it blew up."

Krista imagines shreds of glass. Did someone put a bomb in the toilet?????

Husband looks like he's going to pee his pants. Not good for a 32 year old. He takes a few steps closer, and says, "Wait. I think it's the cabinet, and it must have cracked the toilet."

Krista thinks, the cabinet blew up???

At this point Scott is still across the room, trying to look into the dark bathroom and not really having much luck. Like the macho man he is, he finally is brave enough to go into the bathroom.

The toilet is fine and intact (but still running... grrr...)

The cabinet that was on the wall beside the toilet indeed did crash. It is in pieces on the floor, along with all it's contents.

So, they did the logical next step.

Scott starts to pick up the mess.

Krista runs and gets her camera so she can blog about this now hysterical event.


Discussion: Not sure what to discuss with this. I understand I am obviously a little loo-loo. So.... let's discuss how we are all a little strange! Come on, I want to hear your stories! Oh, and am I the only one that immediately things "BLOG WORTHY" when interesting or funny things happen???

8 comments:

Jody Hedlund said...

Krista, I just love the way you write! You are hilarious! So hurry up and get published so I can start reading your books! And that's so cool that you could find the humor in the situation--what a gift to be able to look a the disaster and go run for your camera! I can't think of any moments like that off the top of my head, but thanks for sharing yours!

sherrinda said...

Krista, Jody took everything I was going to say! Girl, you are too funny! Seriously, I wanna read your book! There are so many funny moments in my life, but I never think to share. Now, if I could write a compelling story like you, then maybe it would be Blog Worthy! ;)
p.s. Jody...you are up at 3:59am????? Seriously????

Eric said...

This is a seriously funny and entertaining post. If your books are written this way, we all need a copy. Give my sympathies to your hubby. Fixing toilets (something I dread) is always one of the worst aspects of home ownership.

Wendy said...

Loo-loo...I got it!

I sing around the house all the time and my singing voice is...no words.

Dey-O...

~ Wendy

Anonymous said...

I am reminded of a quote from the movie Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, "Had I been sitting on the toilet, I might have been killed!"

Krista, I love it! You are such an awesome sister! I had tears in my eyes reading this!

-Kari

Marybeth Poppins said...

Me...loo loo? Noooooo....Oh wait, you've read my blogs, I suppose the covers already been blown.

And do the words Roger the Ant answer your question?

EVERY ironic moment is blog worthy as far as I am concerned :D

Great Post!

Krista Phillips said...

Geez, let's talk about a self-confidence booster today! You all are too kind!

Jody: Two years ago I would have been flipping mad and grumpy over this. For some reason the prospect of spinning a funny story made the situation a bit more comical. *grin*

Sherrinda: I"m sure you can write a very compelling story!!! I, personally, would not be able to write historical to save my life.

"Girlfriend, that dress is SO 1890's. Get with the program!"

"Whatever, you're just jealous because the handsome the Duke took ME for a carriage ride."

"Don't make me slap you with my fan!"

See? Horrible at historical! LOL And it is still up for debate on my ability to write contemporary! We'll see:-)

Eric: Thank you. My husband surely appreciates the sympathy. It is still not fixed by the way. We turn the water valve off after we flush, then turn it on when we need to. *sigh* At least it saves water. *grin*

Wendy: Girl, I SO do that too. And that is on TOP of dancing around, oh, and the occasional, "How many styles of music can I sing this song in" game. Opera and nose plugged so far are the winners.

Kari Jo: THANKS! LOVE the Ace Ventura notation. LOL so applicable too! And you're an awesome sister too! *grin* You even forgive me when I take your Lowes bag in my car all the way home without your knowledge! (sorry again about that!)

Marybeth: I so agree!!! And I still love your crackberry even though you are getting tired of it *grin*

Livewire said...

You are indeed a great writer hun! (Guess I shouldn't say anything about the mess that is STILL stacked neatly beside the toilet) I need to throw those cabinet pieces in the trash! Yeah Kari, lucky for us no one was sitting down when the cabinet on the wall came tumbling down! Now that would make a funny incident not so funny. Headline News: "Man on Toilet Struck Dead by Cabinet"