Friday, May 29, 2009

10 things writers do NOT want to hear

I hope you've enjoyed "10 things" week on my blog! I've had fun creating these, and view them as a practice exercise for my books (If you don't know, I write romance with a humor thread!)

I thought about making "10 things" a weekly post, and still may, but it will probably be more like monthly otherwise I'll run out of ideas for topics too fast, lol!

If you haven't checked out my earlier "10 things" blog posts, feel free!

10 things men can learn from romance novels
10 things men can learn from The Bachelor/The Bachelorette
10 excuses writers give for NOT writing

And without further adu...

TEN THINGS WRITERS DO NOT WANT TO HEAR

1.) Anything that starts with the word "Market" and ends with the letters I.N.G.

2.) "So basically, your heroine is a whore and your hero is gay." (If you are gasping right now, this is a true story and something a VERY valuable critique partner told me. Yeah, I had a few characterization issues if you can't already tell!)

3.) Did you just read **insert published author's name** 's new book? Her plot is pretty much the same as yours....

4.) Your book was pretty good, but I think you started it too early. It really starts more like on... chapter 30.

5.) A yawn while an agent/editor is reading your sell sheet at a conference.

6.) A chuckle at your sample chapters from an agent/editor.... when your book is a dramatic suspense.

7.) A horrified gasp at your sample chapters from an agent/editor.... when your book is a romantic comedy.

8.) The mention of your genre and the word "dead" in the same sentence.

9.) At a conference, while you stand near a huddle of agents gabbing... the mention of your name, the word "crap" accompanied by laughs and slaps on back. (NOTE: I'm not suggesting agents stand around and talk about authors in a negative way... just saying it wouldn't be something I'd view as good sign about my writing if I DID hear this, LOL)

10.) Your writing is good, but your plot, characters, setting, description, dialogue, and narrative all need major work. Have fun with that!!!

9 comments:

sherrinda said...

Oh my goodness. These are sooo funny, but at the same time, really, really sad. How many of there rang true for you, if any?

Jody Hedlund said...

I've loved your 10 things week! It's been hilarious! I cringe to hear number three, that someone else has already taken my idea, especially after we've already gone to years of work writing our stories!

Marybeth Poppins said...

The best one I got was "Your idea sounds adorable." Um I was kinda going for intense or something of that sort...not so much adorable...

Loved your top 10 week! Can't wait till your next one :D

Wendy said...

I had a hard time reading past number 2 b/c it made me laugh so hard!!!

:D
~ Wendy

Cindy said...

Again, so funny! I worry about some of these because I know they've happened :)

Eric said...

Great post and oh so true. Thanks for the laugh on a Friday morning. You should keep up these lists, even if it is only occasionally. They're good.

Krista Phillips said...

Sherrinda, TOO MANY! The Whore and the Gay guy obviously, and my heart dropped once when I walked into a book store and saw a book that was almost exactly the same as an idea I'd been tossing around. You know sometimes you have this really brief cover in your head?? The COVER was even similar. LOL Tossed that idea quickly (but was happy to know that I at least have marketable ideas!)

Jody, ME TOO!!!! I had an agent tell me my idea had already been done once and I about cried. Granted, I couldn't find the book... and no one else has shared that opinion, but still!

Marybeth, LOL. That reminds me of my 8-year old when she announced one day that she was no longer cute. "Cute is for babies, I want to be beautiful or cool" she said. *roll eyes*

Wendy: yes, that was very funny, and as hard as it was to hear, I laughed when I read his critique too!

Cindy: glad you enjoyed! and I worry too, especially about the agents gasping at my romantic comedy. I always have a fear that someone won't get my humor!

Eric: I have quite a few more fun ideas... so no worries! "ten things" will be back!

Valerie Comer said...

Sounds like you've been having fun here, Krista!

Jessica said...

Haahaaa! All of those are enough to prickle my neck with dread. LOL

Funny about your characters. :-)